I Am A Real American (or how it's such a shame I use this title for this post)

If you were an asshole, you could call me lazy for thinking I can get away with posting photos only for the last little while. I suppose it's my explosive apathy for the english language after I leave work. Maybe I enjoy life visually more in post-button pushing hours... and by visually I mean not being at work looking at words and letters and ticker symbols and logos and tables and phones and bells and whistles and clocks and markets and languages and etcetera and irate clients. There are a couple clients, who while I am still gainfully employed, shall remain nameless... but wouldn't it be great to have those pitiful fucks tortured for being awful human beings? I can understand people getting mad at a company when they fuck up, or they are utterly incompetent. Don't get me wrong... we can be utterly incompetent all right... but many of these fucks are mean for no reason, willy nilly and whatnot. So.

Inspired by TrueBoy, I am going to create my ultimate mix tape.

I was a huge fan of High Fidelity almost solely due to my affinity for mix tapes. However, lost in technology is the magnanimous romance involved in creating an actual mix tape... not cd, audio-dvd or winamp playlist... mix tape.

The care involved in writing tiny little letters on the cassette insert, being sure not to misspell anything, have any stray marks, awkwardly sized letters, or smudged ink is something none of us get to experience anymore... you don't still have a cassette deck, do you?

Record players are cool, but cassette decks? uncool... 8-tracks are cool now. Were they in the early eighties? doubtful.

Since my job site is moving to beautiful Jersey City, I had to clear out my drawers and whatnot... in their, I found a single. Remember those? the small cardboard sleeve surrounding white plastic housing black tape... the two sides that had the same song (if you're lucky, it had a remix on it). Anyhow. I have Gerardo's Rico Suave still, and I'm so fucking proud of that.

I still have DeeLite's groove is in the heart (great B-Side on this one) which can blow the roof off any party. What cassette's do you still have? I bet you don't have the WWF Album with Nikolai Volkov singing the Russian National Anthem, or Hulk Hogan's "I Am A Real American" (which, when you really think about it, is incomprehensibly not a pop hit in this uber-patriotic (read communist) time in America).

This brings me back to MY mix tape... do I put these awful songs to make a joke out of it? or do I put songs like Debaser (in honor of the concert I'm seeing on Sunday) or Maybe I'm Amazed because I can't help but be moved by that melody. Do I do this for me? you? mun rakas? sun rakas?

Do I put Dylan's "Man In Me" because of Lebowski or because the man in me will hide sometimes to keep from bein' seen, but that's just because he doesn't want to turn into some machine. and the inflection towards the end! -- have mercy --

Do I put Jane's Ocean Size because it's a mild december or put Long December because it's the second and I'm feeling sentimental a little early?

Do I put X-French T-Shirt because Jerome quoted it brilliantly or because, Say What?, you can't return to what?

Do I put on Michael McDonald's version of Ain't Nothing Like the Real thing because it's hilarious? or because it pains me to say it's actually good?

Do I put on Louis' "A Kiss To Build a Dream On" on because it was our song? or because it's just fucking satchmo, ya heard? -- have mercy --

but Deltron 3030's 3030 yall... big time. why? you gotstoknow. I want yall to meet Deltron Zero Hero - not no small feet.

NIN Hurt? Do I? acoustic? nope. I could flip a coin between that and Foo Fighter's "Everlong" (fuck you, it's good). they're interchangeable sometimes.

Then again, who needs mix tapes when you have Pinkerton and Homogenic in your Civic that doesn't even have a cassette player?

what I'm saying. what I said. This army of me got more Grandaddy than Peter Gabriel's got SledgeHammers.

Do I Big Time? I've been stretching my mouth to let those big words come right out.