Certain People Deserve a Fate Worse Than Death

So. Avoiding politics for a second... the Arrested Development DVD of Season One came out Tuesday. Me and Mike skipped all the way to the Virgin Megastore. Boy that was fun. A.D. is truly the best show on Television... well, that and West Wing and Jeopardy. Thank God Jason Bateman is on the straight and narrow.

But seriously folks... Today I was watching Fox News, you know, catching up on the daily bullshit and I saw a new Bush Cheney ad which in no minced words said that we shouldn't risk electing Kerry and Edwards because we don't want to fight terrorism at home, we'd rather do it in some far-off land where there's tape delay and no FourBux yet. Despicable.

Last night before the Yankee game I had that same terrible channel on. They had this story about how the Guardian was urging readers to write Americans in battleground states. They had some 'samples' of letters from Brits and then witty rebuttals. The problem was that these so-called rebuttals were overly brutal and were not attributed whatsoever. They seemed like editorial bashing of Brits, saying that if it weren't for America they'd all be speaking German, they shoud start brushing their teeth, etc. It was the most shameless and blatant attempt at propaganda for the country-bumpkin toothless moron I've ever seen. And don't think that these hicks are only in the country, apparently they are in New Jersey too... not only South Jersey.

How New Jersey suddenly became a battleground state is beyond me. Our fifteen (?) electoral votes better not go for George Bush. It won't. But there's this dude that has been sitting on top of his van down the street from me with Bush Cheney signs and a shit-eating grin that can only be translated into a nirvana-like state of ignorance. I am thoroughly convinced that anybody who would even consider voting for Bush is a moron and is not paying attention.

I don't think Kerry is a savior. Bush thinks he himself is, but not in the constitutional sense. The more I see of Kerry and the more I hear him, the more I am assured that he will be one of the greatest Presidents ever. He is experienced, well spoken (shocker) and he is sagacious. He understands nuance, complexity and the English language, all things that should be requirements for the office but have been abandoned like public schools when vouchers were introduced.

I read a little bit of the Rolling Stone artice on Cheney. I was reading it over pizza, literally, and learned even more about that rotten cumguzzler. I didn't know that he had dropped out of Yale and I didn't know the circumstances in which he got deferments from Vietnam. I also didn't know the relationship he had with Rumsfeld and how those two incompetent fucks ruined many an administration, many a company, and many a third-world country. Cheney conned his way into Yale. He conned his way into Ford's administration. He conned his way into a the Senate. He conned his way into Bush I's cabinet, only to be ridiculed as laughably delusional. Cheney conned his way into Bush II's pocket only to name himself as the only viable VP candidate. Once the fix was in, the ugly pigfucker appointed all his moron friends to the same posts they'd fucked up before.

I hope Cheney has a heart attack on live TV and people think he's telling one of his dry jokes. Everyone will laugh like crazy, then Bush will get up from hiding underneath the podium, zip Cheney up and start winking willy-nilly to the crowd, shrugging his shoulders and laughing to himself how funny everyone looks in 'clothing.'