Ode to Nicoderm CQ

Yesterday I went out for a drink after work with Mike. We went to the Russian Vodka Room on 52nd near 8th. This was the first time I went out for a drink after work in a long time. Last month we had a company outing that resulted in much hijinx and yakking, not me naturally, I can hold my liquor. Anyhow. I am on the patch because I need to quit smoking. Every year I think I break the record for attempts at quitting. It's not a Guinness Book record, yet, but it's pretty well established.

So. I had two cigarettes yesterday. One I bummed from a 'boss woman' at work, the other I bummed from a group of chicks outside Scruffy Duffy's on eighth. One good thing about the smoking ban in the city is that you can walk past huge groups of people outside bars, no matter what the weather, and find many people smoking... one of which surely has to have an extra grit. Please don't say grit.

So. Do you have to have 'game' to bum a smoke? Is it a different kind of 'game' than the 'game' needed to pick up women? I was pretty good in my day, though I am married now, but I exhibited a certain amount of 'game' to get the beautiful wife I now own, and the many sluts I hooked up with pre-18. I am convinced it is the same kind of 'game,' 'game' that involves practice, honing and big balls. You have to have a clincher, or a patented move in some cases. Like, when I was living at the beach in the summers, it was asking the 'mark' to go for a walk. When on said walk, you could either pull out the crowbar and hit her there, or use the chloroform soaked rag you have in your boardshorts to 'enhance' the package.

My clincher last night was the fact that I was on the patch. How could any decent looking girl refuse a grisly guy when the smoke she gives out could possibly kill said moocher? Is it a peculiar sense of adventure? The subconscious desire to kill people, especially strange and grisly men on the streets of New York City on a cold November night? Is this post too long?

Another strange encounter I had when I was trying to quit smoking was in the same area along eighth ave. My friend out in California, Dave, wrote a comedy porno that he got funded by some big porn outfit (can you say porn outfit?). I told him many times that the idea of comedy porn doesn't take into account the largest demographic... the muters. How many people watch porn with the volume turned up high enough to actually hear the jokes? Would their be subtitles? Will their parents hear? If they do, would they laugh? How uncomfortable would that be... Anyhow, I went into one of the many porn shops to see if they had that DVD. Not because I wanted to buy it, seriously (I already saw it... at a quite uncomfortable premier), I just wanted to see if 'it made the big time.' (I guess eighth ave would be the big time, right?) So. Back to smoking.

I left the store (empty-handed) walking towards the Port Authority. One block away I asked some chick for a smoke, outside Social (another bar near Scruffy Duffy's). She gave me one. I didn't have a light and she didn't either... so she wanted to butt-fuck (calm down). Thing was, she didn't want me to hold her cigarette... she was trying to do it. It wasn't working well so I grabbed the smoke, proceeded lighting my grit (please, don't say grit) and went on my way.

As I walked away, smoking, I realized that it was very possible that this young woman saw me exit the porn shop! She didn't want me to hold her cigarette because she probably thought my hands were chock-full of semen.
That's the end of the story. Thank god I finally got to say "chock-full of semen." it's been a while.